Thursday, 5 February 2015

Ashley Loo 16, 5th Feb 2015


1. The issue being discussed here is a Detriot man who walks 21 miles which is about 33.8km everyday to and from work. His supervisor said that he never did miss one day of work, thus his story is inspriring. Hundreds have offered to buy him a car , give him their car, pay his insurance or chauffeur him daily as the writer stated. In this article, there's a campaign has collected more that US$101,000 for him. I observed that this man has a strong determination to walk the 21 miles which is counted as really far, if it was me, I wouldn't have the stamina or enthusiasm to walk that far. We should learn from this man in stuff that we do in our life.

2. I agree with the writer's point of view where she said that the story of this man is inspiring. This man walks 21 miles everyday to and from work and never missed a day of work, showing how he never gave up in going to work earning money. Moreover, he has a girlfriend and he has to earn more money in order to survive. 

3. Singapore has a lot of means of transports so most people don't actually need to walk to school or work so it's very convenient in Singapore. In addition, you don't really have the chance to be able to walk 21 miles in Singapore because most of us won't choose a workplace so far from our home since most Singaporeans are quite lazy or even have the determination to walk so much. 


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  3. Your stance and point was clearly shown in the post. However, it may be possible for you to express more of your views on 'determination', as it was not very detailed. By adding more personal views would also make your point stronger; try to talk more on how this story inspires you and relate it to your personal experiences. On the other hand, great vocabulary used and minor grammar mistakes made.

  4. Corrected Comment:
    I agree with your views that the man in the article is inspiring. The article reflects his determination and perseverance in going to work even though he does not have the financial means to take transport on wheels to his workplace. However, I would like to point out that your expression the man's determination is not very detailed. By elaborating more on points such as the man was never late for work can make your point stronger and convince others that the man was determined to go to work. You stated that if you were in the man's shoes, you would not have the stamina or enthusiasm to walk that distance to work everyday. By clarifying that the man's stamina and enthusiasm to walk to work is what inspires you, it would make your points clearer if you could include your personal experiences of walking long distances and compare it with the man's daily routine of walking to his workplace.